Kamis, 03 Maret 2016

** Free Ebook The Jungle (Enriched Classics), by Upton Sinclair

Free Ebook The Jungle (Enriched Classics), by Upton Sinclair

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The Jungle (Enriched Classics), by Upton Sinclair

The Jungle (Enriched Classics), by Upton Sinclair



The Jungle (Enriched Classics), by Upton Sinclair

Free Ebook The Jungle (Enriched Classics), by Upton Sinclair

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The Jungle (Enriched Classics), by Upton Sinclair

Enriched Classics offer readers accessible editions of great works of literature enhanced by helpful notes and commentary. Each book includes educational tools alongside the text, enabling students and readers alike to gain a deeper and more developed understanding of the writer and their work.

Upton Sinclair’s unflinching chronicle of crushing poverty and oppression set in Chicago in the early 1900s. A landmark work of social commentary, Sinclair’s work diligently exposes the inhumane and brutal sides of capitalism.

Enriched Classics enhance your engagement by introducing and explaining the historical and cultural significance of the work, the author’s personal history, and what impact this book had on subsequent scholarship. Each book includes discussion questions that help clarify and reinforce major themes and reading recommendations for further research.

Read with confidence.

  • Sales Rank: #68563 in Books
  • Brand: Sinclair, Upton/ Hong, Anna Maria (CON)/ Johnson, Cynthia Brantley (CON)
  • Model: 1668495
  • Published on: 2004-05-01
  • Released on: 2004-05-01
  • Format: Deluxe Edition
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 6.75" h x 1.00" w x 4.19" l, .53 pounds
  • Binding: Mass Market Paperback
  • 480 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. Originally published in 1991 as part of a short-lived revival of the Classics Illustrated line, this adaptation of Sinclair's muckraking socialist novel succeeds because of its powerful images. When Kuper initially drew it, he was already a well-known left-wing comics artist. His unenviable task is condensing a 400-page novel into a mere 48 pages, and, inevitably, much of the narrative drama is lost. Kuper replaces it, however, with unmatched pictorial drama. The story follows Lithuanian immigrant Jurgis Rudkis and his family as they are eaten up and spit out by capitalism (represented by Chicago's packing houses). Kuper uses an innovative full-color stencil technique with the immediacy of graffiti to give Sinclair's story new life. When Jurgis is jailed for beating the rich rapist Connor, a series of panels suffused with a dull, red glow draw readers closer and closer to Jurgis's face, until they see that the glint in his eye is fire. Jurgis, briefly prosperous as a strong-arm man for the Democratic machine, smokes a cigar; the smoke forms an image of his dead son and evicted family. Perhaps most visually dazzling is the cubist riot as strikers battle police amid escaping cattle. Kuper infuses this 1906 novel with the energy of 1980s-era street art and with his own profoundly original graphic innovation, making it a classic in its own right.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From School Library Journal
Grade 10 Up–In 1906, Sinclair published The Jungle, a realistic and scathing portrayal of the life of an immigrant worker. Kuper's revised adaptation focuses solely on its hero, Jurgis Rudkus. Readers follow him from his emigration from Lithuania to downtown Chicago, eager to find the American Dream he's heard so much about. But the harsh world of Chi-town quickly shatters his hopes; forced to take a job at a slaughterhouse, he performs the most menial and vile tasks. An injury pushes him to unemployment and, unable to provide for them, he leaves his family in shame. Rudkus transforms from a starry-eyed dreamer into a cynical but valiant man who fights for workers' rights. Kuper's artwork effectively mimics some of the major art movements of the day. The book opens in a Chagall-inflected form of cubism, lending a folksy, dreamy, and hopeful quality to the early pages. Then, the visuals become increasingly jagged and frenetic until they reach the Futurist-inspired panels that illustrate the story's climax. Well-plotted and beautifully illustrated, Kuper's adaptation breathes new life into this classic American story.–Matthew L. Moffett, Northern Virginia Community College, Annandale

From Booklist
The biographical sketch at the end of Kuper's visualization of the most famous muckraking novel says that it was intended not as an expose of the meatpacking industry but as a pitch for socialism. Kuper and coadapter Russell restore Sinclair's original intent by concentrating on the odyssey, from green Lithuanian immigrant to horribly saddened but finally wiser nascent Socialist Party member, of the book's protagonist, Jurgis Rudkus. It is a story of the highest possible pathos. Jurgis is a working-class Job and worse, for he loses almost everyone he loves to the grinding jaws of industrial capitalism (the coup de grace comes when his dead wife's little brother is eaten by rats) and becomes a strikebreaker and ward heeler before he absolutely bottoms out. Grimmer than Dickens' books, Sinclair's agitprop classic seems tailor-made for Kuper's spectacular color artwork, in which Chagall's buoyant Old World fantasias meet the intense expressionism of Munch and, above all, the cubist-derived constructivism of early Soviet poster art, with a smidgen or two of 1920s German cinema in the compositions. Magnificent. Ray Olson
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Most helpful customer reviews

139 of 152 people found the following review helpful.
In the jungle
By Marcus A. Lewis
We last saw Chairman of the Board Juan Cabrillo in "The Silent Sea" (3/10), as he was trekking across the frozen wastes of the antarctic. He had become separated from the crew of the "Oregon" and believed dead. The Chairman and his motley crew are all together again in the latest collaboration from Clive Cussler and Jack Du Brul.

"The Jungle" begins with one of the better Prologues of a Cussler novel in some time. Set in Eastern China, 1281 A.D. We are eyewitnesses to the battle tactics of General Khenbish, who is in the employ of the great Khan. We learn the history of the three tents that precede each battle; and the first known uses of lasers and dynamite on the battlefield. A walled village is obliterated because its leader dared to provoke the wrath of Khan. It is the independent observer who accompanies Khenbish that is the real surprise at the end of the opening chapter.

The story leaps from the past into the present, just four months ago. The tendrils that connect the two begin to reveal themselves; and the adventure begins.

The summary of "The Jungle" alludes to their many types: real, imagined, physical, and politcal. Readers will enjoy finding their way through all of them. It's easy to see why the "Oregon" files have eclipsed the Dirk Pitt series. The writing here is far superior to what the two Cusslers are generating together. A hat tip to Upton Sinclair, whose book inspired the title.

49 of 51 people found the following review helpful.
Chairman Cabrillo and team save the world, again.
By William D. Curnutt
I always love a good Clive Cussler book and have really learned to enjoy the addition of Jack DuBrul to the writing team. The Oregon Files are a great series and just when you thought there couldn't be a group to top NUMA along comes The Corporation with The Oregon.

After their last adventure the crew of The Oregon find themselves needing work. Their contracts with the U.S. Government have dried up because the President doesn't particularly like them, especially since they went against everything he asked in the last adventure and succeeded when no one should have. So, now the Corporation is taking on more and more private jobs. But they have one particular preference, they won't work for criminals or people they consider bad. That leaves them with slim pickings. But they receive two jobs right in a row to rescue children (one a teenager and one a young adult) of some very wealthy people. Each case is unique and not tied together. Or are they.

During the first job to rescue a young teenager from a life in the Taliban they team not only rescues the boy but rescues a Private Security Company Employee who was captured by the Taliban and going to be used as their next TV broadcast of a beheading of an infidel. Juan and his team rescue the young MacD Lawless as well as their clients son. MacD proves to be a great find for them as during their escape he proves his calmness under fire and even saves the whole teams lives with a heads up move to divert a sure missile strike.

Juan offers MacD a job since they are one team member short (after loosing a team member in the last book). They have to vet MacD first, but in the meantime they hire him on probation and put him to work. He proves to be a highly useful tracker as well as an experienced warrior, he is a former Army Ranger. I love the way that Cussler and DuBrul weave in a new character and make him a part of the team so well.

Unfortunately during the time it turns out that MacD is a spy for someone trying to take down the Corporation. Or is he really a spy. That has to be determined.

Then we discover that not only is the Corporation tracking down to missing children but they have stumbled across the beginning of a world terrorism plot. A group has discovered how to create a Quantum Computer that has 10,000 times the computing power of anything the U.S. Government has. This computer can hack into anything and take over control of anything. This group is trying to hold the U.S. Government hostage. They threaten acts of terrorism unless the U.S. President bows to their desires and terms.

Unknown to the President, The Corporation is already at work tracking this threat down. They have figured it out before anyone else, it seems (of course). But then Langston Overholt comes on the scene and the CIA is again asking The Corporation for help.

The plot is wonderful. The pace is fast. The characters are amazing and the new ones that are woven into the story add to the team without distracting from the plot.

Cussler and DuBrul have again hit another home run. This is a must read for any Clive Cussler fans.

Enjoy!

66 of 72 people found the following review helpful.
Decent effort
By Zahara
Cripes....will you people who trash a book because of the price get a clue? Amazon does not set the price of the book and that includes the Kindle version. So stop complaining and review THE BOOK.

Finally a decent effort after a couple of really poor books. It's the Clive we've come to expect. So if you want 'literature' this isn't it. If you just plain like action novels this fills the bill decently.

See all 1402 customer reviews...

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Rabu, 02 Maret 2016

^ PDF Download Warcraft: War of the Ancients #1: The Well of Eternity (Bk. 1), by Richard A. Knaak

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Warcraft: War of the Ancients #1: The Well of Eternity (Bk. 1), by Richard A. Knaak

Warcraft: War of the Ancients #1: The Well of Eternity (Bk. 1), by Richard A. Knaak



Warcraft: War of the Ancients #1: The Well of Eternity (Bk. 1), by Richard A. Knaak

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Warcraft: War of the Ancients #1: The Well of Eternity (Bk. 1), by Richard A. Knaak

Many months have passed since the cataclysmic Battle of Mount Hyjal, where the demonic Burning Legion was banished from Azeroth forever. But now, a mysterious energy rift within the mountains of Kalimdor propels three former warriors into the distant past -- a time long before orcs, humans or even high elves roamed the land. A time when the Dark Titan Sargeras, and his demon pawns persuaded Queen Azshara and her Highborne to cleanse Azeroth of its lesser races. A time when the Dragon Aspects were at the height of their power -- unaware that one of their own would soon usher in an age of darkness that would engulf the world of...War Craft®.
In the first chapter of this epic trilogy, the outcome of the historic War of the Ancients is forever altered by the arrival of three time-lost heroes: Krasus, the dragon mage whose great power and memories of the ancient conflict have inexplicably diminished; the human wizard Rhonin, whose thoughts are divided between his family and the seductive source of his now-growing power; and Broxigar, a weathered orc veteran who seeks a glorious death in combat. But unless these unlikely allies can convince the demigod, Cenarius, and the untrusting night elves of their queen's treachery, the burning Legion's gateway into Azeroth will open anew. And this time -- the struggles of the past may well spill over into the future...

  • Sales Rank: #106481 in Books
  • Brand: Warcraft Novels Pocket Books
  • Published on: 2004-04-01
  • Released on: 2004-04-01
  • Ingredients: Example Ingredients
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 6.75" h x 1.00" w x 4.19" l, .40 pounds
  • Binding: Mass Market Paperback
  • 384 pages
Features
  • Great product!

About the Author
Richard A. Knaak is the New York Times bestselling author of some three dozen novels, including the The Sin War trilogy for Diablo and the Legend of Huma for Dragonlance. He has penned the War of the Ancients trilogy, Day of the Dragon and its upcoming followup, Night of the Dragon. His other works include his own Dragonrealm series, the Minotaur Wars for Dragonlance, the Aquilonia trilogy of the Age of Conan, and the Sunwell Trilogy -- the first Warcraft manga. In addition, his novels and short stories have been published worldwide in such diverse places as China, Iceland, the Czech Republic, and Brazil. 

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The tall, forbidding palace perched atop the very edge of the mountainous cliff, overlooking so precariously the vast, black body of water below that it appeared almost ready to plummet into the latter's dark depths. When first the vast, walled edifice had been constructed, using magic that melded both stone and forest into a single, cohesive form, it had been a wonder to touch the heart of any who saw it. Its towers were trees strengthened by rock, with jutting spires and high, open windows. The walls were volcanic stone raised up, then bound tightly by draping vines and giant roots. The main palace at the center had originally been created by the mystical binding of more than a hundred giant, ancient trees. Bent in together, they had formed the skeleton of the rounded center, over which the stone and vines had been set.

A wonder to touch the hearts of all when first it had been built, now it touched the fears of some. An unsettling aura enshrouded it, one heightened this stormy night. The few who peered at the ancient edifice now quickly averted their gaze.

Those who looked instead to the waters below it found no peace, either. The ebony lake was now in violent, unnatural turmoil. Churning waves as high as the palace rose and fell in the distance, crashing with a roar. Lightning played over its vast body, lightning gold, crimson, or the green of decay. Thunder rumbled like a thousand dragons and those who lived around its shores huddled close, uncertain as to what sort of storm might be unleashed.

On the walls surrounding the palace, ominous guards in forest-green armor and wielding lances and swords glared warily about. They watched not only beyond the walls for foolish trespassers, but on occasion surreptitiously glanced within...particularly at the main tower, where they sensed unpredictable energies at play.

And in that high tower, in a stone chamber sealed from the sight of those outside, tall, narrow figures in iridescent robes of turquoise, embroidered with stylized, silver images of nature, bent over a six-sided pattern written into the floor. At the center of the pattern, symbols in a language archaic even to the wielders flared with lives of their own.

Glittering, silver eyes with no pupils stared out from under the hoods as the night elves muttered the spell. Their dark, violet skin grew covered in sweat as the magic within the pattern amplified. All but one looked weary, ready to succumb to exhaustion. That one, overseeing the casting, watched the process not with silver orbs like the rest, but rather false black ones with streaks of ruby running horizontal along the centers. But despite the false eyes, he noted every detail, every inflection by the others. His long, narrow face, narrow even for an elf, wore an expression of hunger and anticipation as he silently drove them on.

One other watched all of this, drinking in every word and gesture. Seated on a luxurious chair of ivory and leather, her rich, silver hair framing her perfect features and the silken gown -- as golden as her eyes -- doing the same for her exquisite form, she was every inch the vision of a queen. She leaned back against the chair, sipping wine from a golden goblet. Her jeweled bracelets tinkled as her hand moved and the ruby in the tiara she wore glistened in the light of the sorcerous energies the others had summoned.

Now and then her gaze shifted ever so slightly to study the dark-eyed figure, her full lips pursing in something approaching suspicion. Yet, when once he suddenly glanced her way, as if sensing her observation, all suspicion vanished, replaced by a languid smile.

The chanting continued.

The black lake churned madly.

There had been a war and it had ended.

So, Krasus knew, history would eventually record what had happened. Almost lost in that recording would be the countless personal lives destroyed, the lands ravaged, and the near-destruction of the entire mortal world.

Even the memories of dragons are fleeting under such circumstances, the pale, gray-robed figure conceded to himself. He understood that very well, for although to most eyes he resembled a lanky, almost elven figure with hawklike features, silvering hair, and three long scars traveling down his right cheek, he was much more than that. To most, he was known as a wizard, but to a select few he was called Korialstrasz -- a name only a dragon would wear.

Krasus had been born a dragon, a majestic red one, the youngest of the great Alexstrasza's consorts. She, the Aspect of Life, was his dearest companion...yet once again he dragged himself away from her to study the plights and futures of the short-lived races.

In the hidden, rock-hewn abode he had chosen for his new sanctum, Krasus looked over the world of Azeroth. The gleaming emerald crystal enabled him to see whatever land, whatever individual, he desired.

And everywhere that the dragon mage looked, he saw devastation.

It seemed as if it had only been a few years ago when the grotesque, green-skinned behemoths called orcs, who had invaded the world from beyond, were defeated. With their remaining numbers kept in encampments, Krasus had believed the world ready for peace. Yet, that peace had been short-lived. The Alliance -- the human-led coalition that had been the forefront of the resistance -- had immediately begun to crumble, its members vying for power over one another. Part of that had been the fault of dragons -- or the one dragon, Deathwing -- but much had simply been the greed and desire of humans, dwarves, and elves.

Yet, even that would have passed with little concern if not for the coming of the Burning Legion.

Today, Krasus surveyed distant Kalimdor, located on the far side of the sea. Even now, areas of it resembled a land after a terrible volcanic eruption. No life, no semblance of civilization, remained in those areas. It had not been any natural force, however, that had rent the land so. The Burning Legion had left nothing in its wake but death.

The fiery demons had come from a place beyond reality. Magic was what they sought, magic they devoured. Attacking in conjunction with their monstrous pawns, the Undead Scourge, they had thought to lay waste to the world. Yet, they had not counted on the most unlikely alliance of all...

The orcs, once also their puppets, had turned on them. They had joined the humans, elves, dwarves, and dragons to decimate the demonic warriors and ghoulish beasts and push the remnants back into the hellish beyond. Thousands had perished, but the alternative...

The dragon mage snorted. In truth, there had been no alternative.

Krasus waved long, tapering fingers over the orb, summoning a vision of the orcs. The view blurred momentarily, then revealed a mountainous, rocky area further inland. A harsh land, but one still full of life and capable of supporting the new colonists.

Already, several stone structures had risen in the main settlement, where the Warchief and one of the heroes of the war, Thrall, ruled. The high, rounded edifice that served as his quarters was crude by the standards of any other race, but orcs had a propensity toward basics. Extravagance to an orc was having a permanent place to live at all. They had been nomads or prisoners for so long that the concept of "home" had been all but lost.

Several of the massive, greenish figures tilled a field. Watching the tusked, brutish-looking workers, Krasus marveled at the concept of orc farmers. Thrall, however, was a highly unusual orc and he had readily grasped the ideas that would return stability to his people.

Stability was something the entire world needed badly. With another wave of his hand, the dragon mage dismissed Kalimdor, summoning now a much closer location -- the once proud capital of his favored Dalaran. Ruled by the wizards of the Kirin Tor, the prime wielders of magic, it had been at the forefront of the Alliance's battle against the Burning Legion in Lordaeron and one of the first and most prized targets of the demons in turn.

Dalaran lay half in ruins. The once-proud spires had been all but shattered. The great libraries burned. Countless generations of knowledge had been lost...and with them countless lives. Even the council had suffered badly. Several of those Krasus had counted as friends or at least respected colleagues had been slain. The leadership was in disarray and he knew that he would have to step in to lend a hand. Dalaran needed to speak with one voice, if only to keep what remained of the splintered Alliance intact.

Yet, despite the turmoil and tribulations still ahead, the dragon did have hope. The problems of the world were surmountable ones. No more fear of orcs, no more fear of demons. Azeroth would struggle, but in the end, Krasus not only thought it would survive, he fully believed it would thrive.

He dismissed the emerald crystal and rose. The Dragon Queen, his beloved Alexstrasza, would be awaiting him. She suspected his desire to return to help the mortal world and, of all dragons, she most understood. He would transform to his true self, bid her farewell -- for a time -- and depart before regrets held him back.

His sanctum he had chosen not only for its seclusion, but also for its massiveness. Stepping from the smaller chamber, Krasus entered a toothy cavern whose heights readily matched the now lost towers of Dalaran. An army could have bivouacked in the cavern and not filled it.

Just the right size for a dragon.

Krasus stretched his arms...and as he did, his tapering fingers lengthened further, becoming taloned. His back arched and from near the shoulders erupted twin growths that quickly transformed into fledgling wings. His long features stretched, turning reptilian.

Throughout all these lesser changes, Krasus's form expanded. He became four, five, even ten times the size of a man and continued to grow. Any semblance to a human or elf quickly faded.

From wizard, Krasus became Korialstrasz, dragon.

But -- in the very midst of the transformation -- a desperate voice suddenly filled his head.

Kor...strasz...

He faltered, all but reverting to his wizardly form. Krasus blinked, then stared around the huge chamber as if seeking the source of the cry there.

Nothing. The dragon mage waited and waited, but the call did not repeat.

Shrugging it off to his own uncertainties, he commenced again with the transformation --

And again, the desperate voice cried Korialstra...

rThis time...he recognized it. Immediately, he responded in kind. I hear you! What is it you need of me?

There was no response, but Krasus sensed the desperation remaining. Focusing, he tried to reach out, establish a link with the one who so badly needed his aid -- the one who should have needed no aid from any creature.

I am here! the dragon mage demanded. Sense me! Give me some indication of what is wrong!

He felt the barest touch in return, a faint hinting of some distress. Krasus concentrated every iota of his thoughts into the meager link, hoping...hoping...

The overpowering presence of a dragon whose magic dwarfed his own a thousandfold sent Krasus staggering. A sensation of centuries, of great age, engulfed him. Krasus felt as if Time itself now surrounded him in all its terrible majesty.

Not Time...not quite...but he who was the Aspect of Time.

The Dragon of the Ages...Nozdormu.

There were only four great dragons, four Great Aspects, of which his beloved Alexstrasza was Life. Mad Malygos was Magic and ethereal Ysera influenced Dreams. They, along with brooding Nozdormu, represented creation itself.

Krasus grimaced. In truth, there had been five Aspects. The fifth had once been called Neltharion...the Earth Warder. But long ago, in a time even Krasus could not recall clearly, Neltharion had betrayed his fellows. The Earth Warder had turned on them and in the process had garnered a new, more appropriate title.

Deathwing. The Destroyer.

The very thought of Deathwing stirred Krasus from his astonishment. He absently touched the three scars on his cheek. Had Deathwing returned to plague the world again? Was that why the great Nozdormu would show such distress?

I hear you! Krasus mentally called back, now more than ever fearful of the reason for the call. I hear you! Is it -- is it the Destroyer?

But in response, he was once again buffeted by an overwhelming series of astonishing images. The images burnt themselves into his head, making it impossible for Krasus to ever forget any.

In either form, Krasus, however adaptable and capable, was no match for the unbridled power of an Aspect. The force of the other dragon's mental might flung him back against the nearest wall, where the mage collapsed.

It took several minutes for Krasus to push himself up from the floor and even then his head spun. Fragmented thoughts not his own assailed his senses. It was all he could do for a time just to remain conscious.

Slowly, though, things stabilized enough for him to realize the scope of all that had just happened. Nozdormu, Lord of Time, had been desperately crying out for aid...his aid. He had turned specifically to the lesser dragon, not one of his compatriots.

But anything that would so distress an Aspect could only be a monumental threat to the rest of Azeroth. Why then choose a lone red dragon and not Alexstrasza or Ysera?

He tried once more to reach the great dragon, but his efforts only made his head swim again. Steadying himself, Krasus tried to decide what to do instead. One image in particular constantly demanded his attention, the image of a snow-swept mountain area in Kalimdor. Whatever Nozdormu had sought to explain to him had to do with that desolate region.

Krasus would have to investigate it, but he would need capable assistance, someone who could adapt readily. While Krasus prided himself on his own ability to adapt well, his species was, for the most part, obstinate and set in its ways. He needed someone who would listen, but who could also react instantly as unfolding events required. No, for such unpredictable effort, only one creature would serve. A human.

In particular, a human named Rhonin.

A wizard...

And in Kalimdor, on the steppes of the wild country, a grizzled, aged orc leaned close over a smoky fire. Mumbling words whose origins lay on another, long-lost world, the moss-green figure tossed some leaves upon the fire, increasing the already thick smoke. Fumes filled his humble wood and earth hut.

The bald, elderly orc leaned over and inhaled. His weary brown eyes were veined and his skin hung in sacks. His teeth were yellow, chipped, and one of his tusks had been broken off years before. He could scarcely rise without aid and when he walked, he did so stooped and slow.

Yet, even the hardiest warrior paid him fealty as shaman.

A bit of bone dust, a touch of tannar berries...all part of a tried and true tradition resurrected among the orcs. Kalthar's father had taught him all even during the dark years of the Horde, just as Kalthar's grandsire had taught his father before that.

And now, for the first time, the withered shaman found himself hoping he had been taught well.

Voices murmured in his head, the spirits of the world that the orcs now called home. Normally, they whispered little things, life things, but now they murmured anxiously, warning...warning...

But of what? He had to know more.

Kalthar reached into a pouch at his waist, removing three dried, black leaves. They were almost all of what remained from a single plant brought with him from the orcs' ancient world. Kalthar had been warned not to use them unless he deemed it truly necessary. His father had never used them, nor his grandfather.

The shaman tossed them into the flames.

Instantly the smoke turned a thick, swirling blue. Not black, but blue. The orc's brow furrowed at this change of color, then he leaned forward again and inhaled as much as possible.

The world transformed, and with it the orc. He had become a bird, a huge avian soaring over the landscape. He flew over mountains without a care. With his eyes he saw the tiniest animals, the most distant rivers. A sense of exhilaration not felt since his youth almost overwhelmed Kalthar, but he fought it. To give in would risk him losing his sense of self. He might fly forever as a bird, never knowing what he had once been.

Even as he thought that, Kalthar suddenly noted a wrongness in the nature of the world, possibly the reason for the voices' concern. Something was that should not be. He veered in the direction that felt correct, growing more anxious as he drew nearer.

And just within the deepest part of the mountain range, the shaman discovered the source of his anxiety.

His learned mind knew that he envisioned a concept, not the actual thing. To Kalthar, it appeared as a water funnel -- yet one that swallowed and disgorged simultaneously. But what emerged or sank into its depths were days and nights, months and years. The funnel seemed to be eating and emitting time itself.

The notion so staggered the shaman that he did not notice until almost too late that the funnel now sought to draw him in as well.

d

Immediately, Kalthar strained to free himself. He flapped his wings, pushed with his muscles. His mind reached out to his physical form, tugging hard at the gossamer link tying body to soul and trying to break the trance.

Still the funnel drew him forward.

In desperation, Kalthar called upon the spirit guides, prayed to them to strengthen him. They came as he knew they would, but at first they seemed to act too slow. The funnel filled his view, seemed ready to engulf him --

The world abruptly twisted around the shaman. The funnel, the mountains...everything turned about and about.

With a gasp, Kalthar awoke.

Exhausted beyond his years, he barely kept himself from falling face first into the fire. The voices that constantly murmured had faded away. The orc sat on the floor of his hut, trying to reassure himself that, yes, he now existed whole in the mortal world. The spirit guides had saved him, albeit barely in time.

But with that happy reassurance came the reminder of what he had witnessed in his vision...and what it meant.

"I must tell Thrall..." he muttered, forcing weary, aged legs up. "I must tell him quick...else we lose our home...our world...again..."

Copyright © 2004 by Blizzard Entertainment

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0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Janet Shew
This was a gift for my brother and was delivered

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
excellent
By B. Dilworth
a great read! couldn't put it down.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Billy
Loved it

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Sprayed Stiff: A Hair-raising Mystery (Hair-Raising Mysteries), by Laura Bradley

She's a cut above the average sleuth....Reyn Marten Sawyer is a San Antonio hair stylist with a head for solving murders!
Dye Young, Stay Pretty
Reyn is getting conditioned to normal life after untangling the murder of her beloved mentor. So she's a little frosted by a late-night call from wealthy Alexandra Barrister, desperate for Reyn's help with a hair crisis. She arrives at the imposing Barrister estate -- and wishes she was packing more than a hot brush when she finds the body of Alexandra's socialite mother, arranged with her hair standing on end, cemented into place by a killer with a macabre style sense. Reyn suspects she's being framed by Alexandra, and even handsome detective Jackson Scythe may not be able to save her scalp...unless they go undercover to undo a killer with a whole new twist on having a bad hair day.

  • Sales Rank: #3833375 in Books
  • Published on: 2005-05-01
  • Released on: 2005-05-01
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 6.75" h x .90" w x 4.19" l, .37 pounds
  • Binding: Mass Market Paperback
  • 320 pages

About the Author
Laura Bradley, a former award-winning reporter and television news producer, has written three contemporary romances. Her first two novels were named finalists for the prestigious Holt Medallion award. She grew up on the Hawaiian island of Oahu, and now lives with her husband, three children, two dogs and a cat in San Antonio, Texas.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Chapter One

I got on my knees, held my breath, and extended my fingers.

It was sleek and firm, but it sprang slightly at my touch. I kept my eyes closed and continued my exploration.

Suddenly, the surface gave way. My fingers sank through, diving into a wet, gooey pit.

"Ugh," I groaned, and squeezed my eyes more tightly shut as I extracted my hand.

"Gnarly nuns and timid terriers, Reyn. What are you doing?"

I really didn't want to look at what was hanging off my fingers, and I really didn't need to open my eyes to see who was standing over me. Instead, I eased to my feet, trusted that my guest would stay out of the way, and did the blind-man's grope to the sink. I cranked the handle up and slid my hand under the stream of water.

"Ow, damn!" My eyes flew open and took in the kaleidoscope of neon that was my best friend, Trudy, as I danced around the kitchen shaking my seared hand in the air. I'd forgotten that, just minutes before, I'd cranked the water as hot as it could go, which felt like somewhere around eighteen million degrees. That's what I got for being forgetful.

"I hate to repeat myself," Trudy said as she handed me a dish towel, "but I will anyway. What the hell are you doing, Reyn?"

"I'm cleaning out my refrigerator."

"Dun, dun-dun-dun," Trudy sang out a dirge. "Dun, dun-dun-dun."

"Very funny."

"From the looks of what was hanging off your fingers a second ago, it's not too funny. What was that, anyway?"

I peeked into the half-open hydrator. "Rotten eggplant. If I left it a little longer, maybe it could ooze out of there on its own." I looked a little more closely at the gray-green fuzz near the semblance of a stem.

"I'm not going to ask why you are cleaning your refrigerator. Obviously, it's needed to be cleaned almost since you bought it. However, I will ask, why are you cleaning it now?"

"It's one of my if-I-live-through-this resolutions to myself."

"Wouldn't those be made after you survived the refrigerator cleaning?"

I glared. "I made three resolutions to myself while that maniac was trying to erase me."

"That was a long time ago, Reyn. You're just now getting around to it?" Trudy pointed out with irritating accuracy. Why couldn't I have a best friend who thought I was brave and brilliant, who never pointed out my faults and always praised my virtues? Because I'd never buy that load of crap, that's why. Trudy was shaking her head. "What about the other two resolutions?"

"Well," I began as I replaced the dish towel on its peg, "one of them I can't do yet -- or, hopefully, ever."

"Why not?" Trude cocked her hip and put a fist on it. Her rayon minidress looked like something straight out of That '70s Show (or, of course, the actual '70s) with its psychedelic wiggly bull's-eye business and the clash of electric green, traffic-cone orange, and spastic yellow. Its hem hit three inches below the crotch of her Victoria's Secret undies (I didn't have to look, she just didn't own anything else). People would be thrown into peals of laughter had I worn anything like this. The same people were paralyzed by awestruck ogling when Trudy wore it. Her legs were that good. Even better now, after a summer out in the sun. The thing is, summer in San Antonio lasts until November, so she'd still be tan for Christmas. Now, me, I never tan. I just get freckles.

"I can't do it because the resolution is that I will hide all the knives and other sharp, potentially homicidal objects in my house the next time I go poking around in a murdered friend's life."

Trudy rolled her eyes. "You're right. What are the odds of that ever happening again? I mean, how many people have friends who are murdered -- and then, of course, even if that did happen again, by some bizarre twist of fate, you've learned your lesson on not messing around with murder investigations because you nearly got killed. Right?"

Uh-oh. I really wasn't sorry for what I'd done about Ricardo Montoya's murder, even though my best friend and the man who occupied my dreams at night thought I was sorry. But I wasn't letting on to them about my lack of remorse. "Right. Sure. I'll never conduct my own murder investigation again. No sirree. So the odds are way too low, even to consider resolution number two," I agreed, moving past the eggplant and on to the jars along the refrigerator door.

"And the third if-I-live-through-this resolution?" Trudy asked, not effectively distracted by the pungent odor of apricot jelly that had fermented nearly to wine. I closed the jar and pitched it into the garbage can I had dragged into the middle of the kitchen. Its twenty-gallon capacity was already half full.

"It's a little vague."

"Vague?"

"I was under a lot of stress at the time, remember? I was being pursued by a duct-tape-wielding killer with an affinity for sharp objects."

"You made this resolution before or after you were victim of the sharp object?"

"Before. But I already had been attacked by the duct tape. It tore the first six layers of skin off my face."

"Uh-huh, the excuse you used to keep Scythe at arm's length for a month." She let that hang in the air for a minute. I wasn't going to bite. Talking about the hunky police detective gave me a headache. And hot flashes. I was too young to be having those. He was a helluva good kisser, that's all I knew, even after months of pussyfooting around our sexual attraction and "the deal." Frankly, it was enough hassle to make a woman go gay. But Trudy didn't need to know even that much. Especially since this "deal" was really something she and Scythe had come up with, and I was more than a little hazy on the details.

She raised her eyebrows, reached for a container of tofu, and checked the expiration date. "And the resolution?" she insisted.

I lowered my head and muttered, "To get organized."

Trudy's giggle always starts like the peep of a newborn chick and gets louder and louder, until it reminds me of a Ritalin-deprived three-year-old playing the violin. I saw tears in the corners of her eyes. It really pissed me off.

"What prompted you to make this particular resolution?"

"Besides imminent death?"

"Besides that."

"I couldn't find my extra set of truck keys for a getaway."

"Okay." Trudy rubbed her hands together. "So, you found them and got all your keys set up in an organized manner."

"Umm." I considered reapproaching the eggplant and toed the hydrator open further.

"You didn't find your extra set of truck keys, did you?" The self-righteous way she said it made me think the nuns at Trudy's grammar school had rubbed off on her a little too much.

"Not yet."

Ever optimistic, Trudy smiled, a little too brightly. "Instead, then, you tackled the job from a different direction. Taking on your closets, maybe."

"You think I should start there?"

"You haven't started at all?" Her shoulders slumped in disappointment. The too-bright went out of her smile. Her neon was suddenly the only thing lighting up the room.

"I wanted to do the refrigerator first, considering it involved perishables." Bravely, I swiped up the oozing eggplant and slam-dunked it into the plastic pail.

"It involved perishables, months and months later." Trude threw her hands into the air and sashayed to the kitchen door. Shaking her head in disgust, she let herself out and slammed the door. My Labrador retriever trio, mother and two daughters, looked at me in question. They'd been observing the scene quietly since Trude walked in. I think they were on their best behavior in hopes of me slipping them a molding slice of Brie or something worse. You know dogs. Remember where they like to sniff.

"I'm definitely looking for an ass-kissing friend," I told Beaujolais, Chardonnay, and Cabernet. "Starting tomorrow."

I returned to my grim work in the refrigerator, and, aside from taking the time to eat two pieces of turtle cheesecake before they went bad, I kept at it for a couple of hours, until I was interrupted by the ringing of the telephone. Since I'm so supremely organized, I ran around, knocking into things, listening for the direction of the ring. I found the phone between the cushions of the couch in the den (duh, the first place everyone looks!), and also found the truck keys, but not before the call went to the answering machine. I hated the sound of my own voice, so I hummed through my greeting, then listened to the reedy-voiced caller: "Reyn, this is Lexa...Alexandra Barrister. I am so sorry...so sorry to bother you so late, and at home, too. I promise, I tried the salon. No answer."

For the first time, I glanced at the clock. It was eleven-nineteen. But I'm a night person, so I was just coming alive, which is why I kept listening.

"If you could call me back...at any hour, really. I have an emergency. It involves Mother. I mean, Wilma."

I picked up before I could really register how rattled Lexa -- one of the most eccentric clients to cross my threshold -- must be to call her mother "Mother."

"Hello?"

"Reyn? Oh, Reyn! I was beginning to think I was going to have to manage it alone."

"What's it? What's the emergency?" Managing made me think of large sums of money or large objects that needed to be moved, like cows and big-ass great-aunts. With my luck, it involved the latter.

"It's Mother. Wilma. It's her hair." The silence stretched out for nearly a minute.

Wilma Barrister was one scary woman, and I didn't like the way this conversation was going. Somewhere between fifty and sixty, Wilma could be described as "handsome" -- you know, one of those horse-faced, hard-eyed ladies who rose above the "plain" moniker by the grace of expensive cosmetics, designer clothing, and a commanding presence. Her thick silver hair was her best feature, its simple turned-under, chin-length style emulated by the high-society senior set. She was on this month's cover of San Antonio Women, along with an article detailing her extensive philanthropic work. My only personal encounter with the charity maven had been a...

Most helpful customer reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent book!
By Josie Smith
This book was a joy to read! I am a cosmetologist, so when I found out about The Brush-Off and Sprayed Stiff, I had to read them. I thought it was interesting to have a book written pertaining to someone in the book, in the same profession as I am.

The plot was wonderful, the characters superb, and it also kept me on my toes with some mystery and a little romance and loads of humor!

I read Laura's first book in this series and became instantly enthralled with it, and the second book is just as wonderful! It had a great combination of all sorts of elements I love in books. I read this book within two days and could not put it down! I am very much anticipating the next one in this series!

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Poor writing ruins a good character and concept
By Amy Henley
I really wanted to like this book. I still like the concept and the character Reyn, but did not like a few things about the writing. It may seem like I am being harsh compared to other reviewers of this book, but the bad writing really prevented me from enjoying it, and I would hate for other people to have the same negative experience.

Here are three things I could not overlook. If you don't think they are a big deal, then you might like the book enough to enjoy it. First, the author kept mentioning things from her first book without explaining them in this book. The author either assumed that you had read the first book, or would go out and buy it, or just didn't realize how important it is for the first time reader to be let in on "the deal." For example, she kept mentioning that Reyn's friend Trude and Jackson Scythe, the "love" interest, have a deal between them, and Reyn is involved. Like Trude bet Jackson that Reyn would or would not do something. It is never clear what the something is or what the deal is about. It may have something to do with sex, but considering Reyn and Jackson never get down and dirty, who knows. It was cute at the begining, but by the end of the book I just didn't care. Second, many events have to conveniently happen and characters have to conveniently know what might otherwise be useless information, in order for the plot to be moved along. Like Reyn's friend Charlotte just happens to know another character (spoiler) who who knows some important information (spoiler) and works for (spoiler) and is friends with (spoiler). Third, there was very little chemistry between Reyn and Jackson other than them glaring at each other. I don't know what happened (or didn't) in the first book between them, but nothing much does in this one.

That being said, the dialogue did have its funny moments, and I liked that the character is a hairstylist and owns her own shop. If Laura Bradley's writing improves, I would read another of her books.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
When's the next one!
By james jessen
Well Just finnished, and I have to say that I loved this book series! I'm a little bummed though that their hasn't been a new one since 2005! I really hope that Laura Bradley continues with this series. It be cool to see it as a movie or somthing! Anyone know her e-mail or somthing, I'm courious to know what happend w/ this series.

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The Diva's Guide to Selling Your Soul, by Kathleen O'Reilly

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful...
Call me V. I used to be a nobody, just a girl from New Jersey who was probably going to hell anyway -- or worse, mediocrity and a size 14. Now I get whatever I desire just by casting a little spell....a flawless body, a luxury penthouse, and a Fifth Avenue shop where rich women clamor for my overpriced handbags. Even better, I have power. I can taunt my ex-husband, break hearts without guilt, and love every minute of it. My secret? I lost the one thing I never needed in the first place: my soul. I sold it. And you'll never guess who's got it now.
She's a devil in disguise.
You know her as the dishiest gossip columnist in the city's trashiest tabloid. I call her Lucy. And our deal is this: the more clients I recruit for her Life Enrichment Program, the greater my rewards. But just between us, my fast track to heartless apathy has hit a few speed bumps -- lately, I've had the totally annoying impulse to do things that are...good. First there was rescuing a kid in the park. Then there was the date with the handsome, decent guy who wasn't even a celebrity. What's next, giving to charity or something? All I know is Lucy doesn't like it, not one little bit. And when she finds out, there will be hell to pay...

  • Sales Rank: #2303475 in Books
  • Published on: 2005-04-05
  • Released on: 2005-04-05
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 8.25" h x .90" w x 5.31" l, .62 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 352 pages

About the Author
Kathleen O'Reilly is the author of the Downtown Press novel The Diva's Guide to Selling Your Soul. She is also the author of numerous contemporary love stories; her short story "Halo, Goodbye" appears in the New Year's Eve anthology In One Year and Out the Other, available from Downtown Press. She lives in New York with her husband and their two children. Visit her on the web at www.kathleenoreilly.com, or write her at P.O. Box 312, Nyack, NY 10960.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Chapter One

Which publicist/designer couple have hit a speed bump in their marriage? Rumor has it that they are sharing separate quarters and that she has been seen on the arm of a well-known piano player. True love, revenge, or PR scam? Only the piano man knows for sure.

I predict big things for the Hollywood starlet opening on Forty-second Street in August. Her voice, her moves, it's the best thing she's done in ages. You heard it here first, darlings.

Fifth Avenue's most daring bag lady and her darling designers have done it again. Current buzz on the street says that the It Bag for the spring season is part of the Sonata line from V.

V. Yup, that's me. Now I own a prosperous leather shop on Fifth Avenue, and I'm not going to name names, because the purpose of anonymity is to stay anonymous. Every day celebrities waltz into the store, celebrity wannabes bumbling right after them. All to buy my bags. It's a hell of a rush, and I like to have fun with it every now and then. (It'll be our little secret.)

If you shop on Fifth Avenue, you'll really appreciate this one. Here's the drill:

"Are you looking for something special today?" I ask.

"I'm not sure," the customer says in that Botoxified highbrow tone that tells me she wants me to compliment her on her new $1,500 Viktor & Rolf knockoff and then find a bag to match. Do these people never learn?

"I've got just the thing," I tell her, and then, in my head, I say the magic words:

Baggara, faggara, haggara, fine, puce is what you need to shine.

Immediately her eyes zoom in on the puce monstrosity that is sitting behind the counter. We've discounted it 47 percent, solely because it's an ugly mother and no one would ever touch it.

"I love it," she gushes.

I smile and rack up the price 200 percent.

Ka-ching.

After the Page Six item, I take in orders for a thousand bags (including some in butt-ugly puce). You wonder how hype starts?

I'm telling you, it's all in who you know. You see those names that get paraded around and become forty-seven-minute celebrities? Well, if you see a certain ex-hooker at mass, I'm telling you it's a sham. As long as she's banking the advances and fighting off the West Coast producers with a diamond-studded stick, she's got connections.

That evening I take off for my usual night out. I signed over my soul to the devil almost two years ago, and I haven't regretted it yet. Having your every whim and desire -- what's not to love?

Pandemonium is a trendy little joint over on 1111 Legion Street. I'm meeting Shelby and Meegan ("two e's, but pronounced Megan; it's a family name"), who belongs to one of the political dynasties from Connecticut (who knew?). Shelby is svelte, tall, with a deceptively casual blond cut. Her hair was specially designed by Frederic Fekkai, and the body was designed by Oreos and Ex-Lax. A deadly combination.

Meegan is much less disciplined, a bluestocking with no sense of style at all who I had met one day while getting a facial. I promised Lucy I'd get them both in the Life Enrichment Program, and now it's up to me to show them the infinite rewards of my life. Oh, yeah, like that's a tough job.

dTo be perfectly honest, I don't care too much for Shelby. It's tougher to be apathetic about Meegan. She is genuinely nice, in a way I don't even begin to understand. We've talked a few times, and I'm feeling the disconnect. I've never spent a lot of time around nice people; that's what happens when you grow up in Hoboken.

I walk into the bar, and heads turn. Men like the lean, Dolce & Gabbana "You can look, but you have to sell your firstborn in order to touch"-clad body, and women notice my bag. Yeah, eat your heart out, New York.

One of the Yankee ballplayers is holding court in the back, and I wink, but don't go any further. I'm a Mets fan, and it seems disloyal. Someday, when I get to be a Level 7 and earn my behavior-modification status, the Mets are going to win the pennant.

I find Meegan and Shelby near the wall in the back. I've been trying to teach them to be bolder, more aggressive, but that's easy when you have no reason to fear rejection.

"Evening, ladies," I say, picking up the martini the bartender has magically provided. It's a good life.

"V" -- she didn't actually say "V," but it's really important that no one knows my real name (Life Enrichment Clause Number 473) -- "you look fabulous!"

We do the air-kiss thing, and Meegan gives me an arm squeeze.

My cell phone rings, and I hold up a "just a minute" finger while I fish it out. Caller ID indicates that it's Harry, and I consider him for only a moment. Then I shake my head and put the phone back in my bag with a little moue. "Voice mail will get it. I'm with two of my favorite friends, and besides, who needs a man anyway?"

Shelby's eyes sharpen with greed. She is close; I know it. I get extra powers for each client I recruit (Life Enrichment Clause Number 10478), and I have been just itching for my next level, mind-reading, aka the Amazing V Sees All.

There's an art to the program, a stealthy give-and-take, and you never ever share the secret until the absolute moment of desperation strikes. Neither Meegan nor Shelby knows anything, although Shelby will soon. She's about to hit the wall. I can tell. With Meegan, well, let's just say she's not really the desperate type. Yet.

I push back my hair and sigh, a great, "oh, woe is me" wellspring of breath. "The shop was brutal today," I say, and then pause for effect. "There was a leak in the Post about the new line, and the waiting list has already started. Julia's assistant called and offered me five thou to put her at the top of the list." I roll my eyes to indicate my perpetual ennui. "Can you believe it? Like I could be bought," I scoff.

"A new line?" asks Meegan.

"Yes, Paolo has been busy. It's to die for." Paolo is my mentor, the one who recruited me. He had been the fabbest leather designer in Italy and got promoted to New York as part of the package for me. It is a big ego trip to think that my soul was worth a move to New York. I don't know what made me so special, but I give thanks every day because of it.

"I can't wait to see it," Shelby gushes.

I lean in close and smile. "I'll get you the first one."

And there it is. I can see it in her eyes. I have her, and all it cost me was a fucking leather purse. Sad. I don't like Shelby, but I think I would have wished more for her.

"You're the best," she says, joy in her voice.

"We'll do lunch tomorrow," I answer, not disputing it at all. I'll arrange for Lucy to be there. The paperwork and the legal hocus-pocus can take up to two hours, but the 1040 EZ (Lucy took great amusement in naming that one) is available for those in a hurry. Shelby looks to be in a hurry.

Meegan starts making eyes at a broker against the back wall. My gaydar is beeping overtime, but she isn't on the same wavelength. "I think he likes you," I say, just as a conversation starter. "Go talk to him."

She looks hesitant, but lonely, so she moves in his direction. I twitch my nose (purely show business, but it lends an air of mysticism), and the words just pop into my head.

Hetero, Homeo, higgledy hurl, forget your preference and go for the girl.

Immediately he turns and gives her a long once-over. His companion looks a little startled, and I giggle to myself. Just like a man. Give him a heat-seeking missile, and he'll follow it anywhere. After a short five minutes of chitchat, Meegan and her new convert are heading out the door, arm in arm. I take a long draw on my martini. Doing the magic takes a lot of energy, and I get a little sapped, but soon the alcohol is coursing through my veins, reviving the blood flow.

"She bagged him," I say with a satisfied smile.

"Lucky her," replies Shelby, bitchily.

"Ah, every dog has its day, and every woman has her lay."

"I'm being petty and small-hearted, aren't I?" she asks, completely insincere.

"That's what Prozac is for, darling," I drawl, patting her hand.

We share a moment of awkward insincerity as I contemplate my soon to be ESPness and Shelby contemplates her aloneness.

I spot him before Shelby does. An eleven-point buck in the patent-pending Armani suit. It's the shoes that do me in. Italian wing tips. I have a severe sweet tooth for Italian wing tips. Some sort of postseventies Richard Gere fetish, I suppose. He meets my eyes, and I feel nothing. However, I figure it's time for Shelby to get some sport. A kind of last hoo-haw, as it were.

I give him a wink that he won't remember -- I do like playing God -- and chant to myself. It occurs to me belatedly that I really shouldn't give over all my spells to the general populace, however, I will say it involves the words wing tips, bon vivant, and clam dip. 'Nuff said. (But you know, I have a tendency for prolixity, so I bet I slip up in the future. Shoot me.)

Mr. Wing Tips locks on to her, and the rest is history. They talk for a good forty-five minutes at the bar, comparing names (which neither know, but it is the ultimate game of social chicken) and complaining about the crowds at Pravda. The conversation turns racy, and I stop listening in. Eventually, they leave.

After I finish my fourth martini, Meegan returns, flying solo.

"What happened?" I ask, mildly curious.

Meegan begs a cosmopolitan from the bartender and sips. "I don't know. It was so great at first. He was Mr. Attentive, talking about how pretty I was and how refreshing it was to meet a woman who seemed so genuine, and then we're kissing, and then he gets this horrified look on his face, and can't get away fast enough. It's me, isn't it?"

My playing-God tendencies develop feelings of guilt, and I'm wondering if Lucy ever messes up. Probably not; I don't think Lucy was born in Jersey. "No, it's not you. I bet he dropped some bad acid or something." Do people do that anymore? I'm not sure, but does it really matter?

pard

"I'm being punished," Meegan says, sounding absolutely sure of herself. And usually she's so...not.

Ah, I say to myself, a mystery's afoot. "Have you been bad?" I pry, because the notion that Miss Milquetoast Meegan might be laden with pepper is just -- delicious.

"My mother died in a car accident."

A car accident? That is so not me. Some people handle death well. I, however, have a bad case of necrophobia. It's quite logical when you consider it. "Must be awful," I say, with what I hope is a sensitive smile.

Obviously I'm a better actor than I give myself credit for, because she continues: "I was in high school, and we were having a huge fight that night. I wanted to go to a weekend party at one of my friends' summer house, and she said no. I told her I wished she were dead. Then there was a big flash of light and this crash."

At this point, I nod politely and grimace. She takes a swallow and stares off into space, and I'm thinking we're done. Gee, no, I'm wrong. "I was seriously banged up, and the doctors had to remove a lot of my insides. When I woke up from surgery, they told me she was dead."

It's a heartbreaking story, but I've gone through my entire sensitive repertoire, and serious panic is starting to take hold. I take a long sip of my drink to avoid having to say anything understanding, soothing, or empathetic, only to discover that the glass is not deep enough.

"You know what I want now? More than anything else?" she says with a dead laugh. Then she's looking up at me, and I realize that she wants me to ask.

"I want a kid," she says, stealing a cocktail napkin and tearing it up.

Okay, this is better. Again with the disconnect, but I can work with this one. "Babies are nice."

"I can't have any kids of my own. Ever. It's payback, isn't it?"

And now we're talking about infertility. I look around for the nearest exit.

Meegan buries her head on the bar. "Can I have another drink?"

It's about damn time. "Bartender!" I say, and whoosh, a cosmopolitan appears. Slowly Meegan lifts her head, appearing eerily calm. I wait, hoping she's all talked out. However, there is a glint in her eye, and I know that glint. "That's what I want more than anything," she says. "To be pregnant. To feel a life growing inside me. And I can't...."

Awkwardly I pat her head. It's the best I can do in the circumstances. She starts inspecting the men at the bar, and I know that look. Every woman knows that look when it's closing time and you're drunk.

"Maybe you should go home. Sleep it off," I say, doing my best to rescue what is left of her family values and maybe recruit her into the Life Enrichment Program.

"She thought I was Miss Perfect. I never wanted to be Miss Perfect."

There's a certain irony in this moment. Why is it that women are never satisfied? She doesn't want to live her perfect life in that perfect house in Connecticut, and I would have sold my soul to do just that.

"So don't be Miss Perfect," I say, because I'm not Miss Perfect, but I do understand rebellion. You can't fight it. You just have to give in when the Warrior Goddess strikes you.

Meegan is no longer listening to my advice, which is probably a good thing. She stands up, a little woozy, but she's still got that loose-cannon glint. So much for Dr. V's Philosophy of Life. I console myself with my drink.

"I think I need to go. Thank you for inviting me," she says politely, because she is Miss Perfect and will always be.

"Uh, sure. Anytime," I add.

Then I watch as she takes off through the non-smoked-filled bar, and I sit there alone, slowly getting drunk.

Crises are not for the faint of heart. I've had my share, and that's too much. Give me the even keel of a carefree existence any day. Eventually, my naturally cool demeanor returns, and I get approached by a publicist from Susan Magrino, a castoff from JP Morgan, and a lesbian from Soho. I turn them all down.

I adore Manhattan in the spring. You would too, if you had my life.

Just let me know, I'll have Lucy give you a call.

• • •

I meet Shelby the next day at the Gotham Bar and Grill. When Lucy's not writing the world's dishiest gossip at her Sixth Avenue office, she's there. An office-away-from-office, as it were.

I have my suspicions about the chef here, but with the whole Life Enrichment Program, there's a high level of anonymity. It lends to the air of exclusivity; that's why, for instance, I am "V," and "Shelby" is, well, "Shelby."

Anywhoo, back to the program, which is, of course, the important thing. Absolutely no riffraff allowed. You never know who's doing deals, and it's a great bit of sport to try and figure it all out. In fact, there's a special bookie down in the meat-packing district who takes bets. I put down three thousand on Alfred, but we won't know until 2033, or at least that's what the oddsmakers are saying.

I walk over to Lucy's table (I was scheduled fifteen minutes before Shelby) and seat myself. The maître d' looks offended. Save it for the pope, pal.

She is stunning, as you might guess. Black hair, dark eyes, sort of an eternal Catherine Zeta-Jones look, only a little sharper. She has two cell phones (those cool kind with digital cameras), which are perpetually ringing.

She looks up from her conversation and smiles. Lucy's actually pretty down-to-earth when you get to know her. Just don't get on her bad side. You've heard the stories; they're all true.

I order a Pellegrino and sip patiently. Eventually she kisses into the phone and hangs up.

"My God, can you believe the day I'm having? Oh, the UN. Those poor, misguided souls. What I could do for world peace if they'd just give me a chance. And then Reverend Al is up to his usual hijinks. I have an in, though, so I'm hoping to seal that deal shortly."

I try not to look impressed, but it's hard. Some of my old gaucheness can spring up at the most inopportune times. I murmur a simpatico, "Sounds like hell." And she laughs. Lucy hears a lot of that.

"Well, so tell me about Shelby. I've got all the paperwork here." She pats the birkin, and her phone rings, a digitally modified "MacArthur Park." Lucy is a huge Donna Summer fan.

"Hello, Don." She lip-synchs his full name to me.

Because Lucy has the hottest nine column-inches in New York, everybody wants to be a part of it, and her phone is ringing all the time.

"Yes, yes. I've heard all about your troubles with rehab," she continues.

"Poor dear.

"Of course I can fix it, but it'll cost you. How much is sobriety worth?"

A very classic moue that would do Revlon proud. "Too bad. Call me tomorrow if you change your mind."

She hangs up and smiles with confidence. "We're running a little tidbit on Page Six tomorrow about rumors surrounding his 'vacation.' He's supposed to be at a spa in Arizona." Lucy laughs. "When will people learn that lies will always come out? Oh, well, maybe he'll come around before the paper goes to bed."

She dabs at her lipstick with the cloth napkin and then folds it into a perfect replica of a swan. "Now, back to Shelby. You've got her?"

I nod. "I'll let you explain the rules, but she's ready."

"You never disappoint me, V."

I smile at her, because I know. I sold my own soul almost two years ago, and my life hasn't been the same -- and trust me, that's a good thing.

One average October day, just after I turned thirty-eight, I was driving down the turnpike, my average daily commute to my average daily job to my average daily life, and I screamed. No one could have heard it from the soundproofed doors in my trusty Toyota (and trust me, you don't open your windows in Newark), but I was done being Wilhelmina Lohman, bending over for every dick and dickina that came along. For me, that was it, and once I finally made up my mind, I was happier than I'd ever been before.

Part of the deal is the soul-recruitment program. Shelby is my third soul-taking, and I'm getting the hang of it. The first two were relatively easy, an assistant DA I had met at a party and the super to my old building (yes, there is justice in the world). I should be feeling an attack of conscience, some twinge of badness, but I don't. Of course, I really don't like Shelby, but still, the lack of feeling bothers me.

I've closed that chapter of my life because, well, to be honest, it pales when compared to fawning friends and high-fashion extravaganzas. And there are bigger things ahead. This is the end of that sort of sentimental schmaltz. I look Lucy in the eye. No doubts here. For just a second, I see a smudge in her mascara, and then whoosh -- it's gone like I never saw it at all. Instinctively I reach for my mirror, check my reflection, but everything's in order. No smudges, no smears, everything is beautiful.

"You don't need to doubt yourself, V. The world is your oyster, and you, my darling, are the pearl. I see great things in your future. You have to trust me on this."

Pinch me, I'm think I'm dreaming.

And then Shelby comes through the door and spots us at the back. She looks a little stunned. Lucy does that to people. It's her aura, her image of pure, controlled power, all packaged in a neat size two. Shelby waits for the maître d' (I'm much more pushy than she is) and smiles at him politely.

I perform the introductions and listen as Lucy begins the Talk. I guess she treats everyone special, because Shelby gets a different spin than I got. Lucy tells Shelby how lucky she is to have such an orderly life, how she is saved from the rigors of the cause célèbre. I'm scanning the annals of my meager French vocabulary and think Lucy's just making that one up, but it sounds good, and Shelby is entranced.

Next comes the pitch. The surprised, "Oh, you actually want the fame and notoriety?" The thoughtful stare up to the ceiling. "Well, there might be a way." Shelby's intensity is palpable, a chokehold that won't let go until your soul is free.

Fascinated, I watch the whole interchange. There's profound human drama at work when someone gives up their soul. Seeing others go through the same hell and insecurities that I did makes me realize how I have grown and matured. Today, I'm above all that shit.

Shelby takes a sip of her drink every now and then, or picks at her salad, but her eyes never leave Lucy's face. Whatever you want, whatever your dreams are. Heady words. Eventually, I get seduced as well, forgetting to critique Lucy's approach. I'm sucked back into the sumptuous reverie of getting whatever you want. I'll repeat that because it's important.

Whatever you want.

Those are the dreams that fire the greed of the world.

My back starts tingling, and I look around. Eyes are watching us, some surreptitiously, some openly. Appraising and envious, all blended together in one ugly palette of emotion. It's a proud moment for someone who used to be a perpetual Z-lister, but that was a long time ago. Back before I was footloose and soul-free.

Shelby is ready to sign, the Visconti pen poised above the paper, but Lucy isn't quite done yet. She rests her chin on her hand and tilts her head in a darling Audrey Hepburn-esque manner. "I don't want you to do anything you'll regret. There's no backing out. Ever. What I try and give my clients is life without conscience. Who needs all that guilt? I mean, really."

She focuses her whole attention on Shelby, oddly intimate in the bustling setting. At this moment, I don't exist, the restaurant doesn't exist, there's only two people left in the world. Shelby and Lucy. And I'm watching the tableau, waiting with bated breath for Shelby to condemn herself to a finite, yet boundless, life.

Lucy taps her fingers on the papers. "You're sure?" she asks.

Shelby nods.

Lucy continues. "We do ask for a few things in return. I'm a firm believer in rewarding positive behaviors. So, for each client you recruit for Life Enrichment, your powers will be increased to the next level. There are nine levels, and you begin an apprentice program under V's tutelage for thirty days. We do ask that you use your powers with discretion. The system works best if the world isn't aware we exist."

"What sort of powers?" Shelby asks with such repressed malice that I wonder who is going to be the recipient of the seven plagues of Shelby.

"You start with non-life-forms object creation. Basically, it's our most effective program. If Wishes Were Birkins. After you recruit another client, you move into Level 2, personal appearance modification, aka My Salad Days Are Over."

Shelby turns on me. "That's how you do it!"

I smile with teeth that are perfectly white and have never been capped. Hate me, I don't mind; I never was hate-worthy when I had a soul. "All those wasted hours at the gym. Poof! And dessert, all the dessert you want..."

Now she starts to fully appreciate the life before her, and her eyes start to glaze. "What's the third level?"

Lucy points to the paper in front of her. "I can't tell you the rest until you've signed. We have to have a nondisclosure agreement in place with all our clients."

While Shelby signs, Lucy brings out the Life Enrichment handbook -- I've Sold My Soul to the Devil...Now What? -- and gives it to Shel. "You can take it home and pore over the details. If you have any questions, V is there to answer them for you. And remember, it's our little secret."

Lucy's phone rings, and she takes the call away from the table. I'm alone with my new convert. And after the requisite seventy-two hours (not quite standard contract law, but still a nice touch -- you have three days to back out of the deal. After that, you're in forever), my power base will be upped to Level 4.

Shelby looks like a kid at Christmas. "I can just think about something, and then, voilà, there it is?"

I nod, feeling a lot like Santa. It's a good life. "Well, sorta. You have to use a spell, and then it'll appear."

She looks as if she's about to wish up an entire wardrobe from Barney's right there, and I hold up my restraining hand. "Wait. Remember. Discretion."

Her face scrunches with worry. "Oh."

Karan schmaran, heels of air, Edmundo Castillo is everywhere.

"Look under the table," I say, with all the finesse of Harry Houdini. It never gets old.

She lifts the tablecloth and pulls out the signature Bergdorf-Goodman shopping bag. Inside is a wished-up pair of Edmundo Castillo sandals. "I want to do it," she says.

Feeling benevolent, I nod and point to the Frequently Asked Questions in the back, which includes a list of the most common spells.

She closes her eyes, and I can see the magic wash over her. Clients get an almost physical glow, which comes from the four-alarm, multi-orgasmic wash of having your wish granted -- immediately. She squirms in her seat and then reaches under the table. I'm curious to see what her first wish fulfillment is. Your most secret desire is a cornerstone in understanding and undermining the human psyche.

Proudly she brandishes a set of Tiffany Feathers earrings. Personally, I think they're gaudy, but I know better than to say anything. So silently I watch as she absorbs the change in her status. An instant becoming. She sits straighter, more self-assured than ever before, and there are no spells at work for that one.

We celebrate over two pieces of chocolate cake (Alfred's secret recipe) and a cappuccino. Lucy comes back in a whiff of custom-designed perfume, something mysterious and musky, as old as the world, then she waves good-bye and departs for places unknown. All eyes follow in her wake. I feel a surge of admiration for this fascinating female who lifts us above a cheap imitation of life. Shelby and I toast her new soul loss, and she smiles in an almost drunken fog.

Today I can rule the world. Well, okay, I'm only an almost Level 4. But someday...

After all, what good is a soul? Can you borrow against it? Dress it up and parade it down Park Avenue? I feel the eyes gravitate in our direction once more, and I brush back my hair, a modest gesture to acknowledge the silent tributes that are flowing our way.

Just remember, you can have it, too.

Copyright © 2005 by Kathleen Panov

Most helpful customer reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
This Diva Should Have Kept Her Soul!
By ChickLitGirl
This novel explores the unusual topic of selling one's soul - to the devil. V - the main character, (she isn't allowed to tell you her real name) was once a size 14 with lumpy thighs, a mediocre life and job, and was miserable. That all changed when V decided to sign her soul over to the devil - in exchange for beauty, powers, wealth and fame. There are different levels of the program (called "the Life Enrichment Program"). Your powers increase with each level. There are some catches, of course. In order to move through the levels, you have to recruit other people into the program. You have to practice apathy at all times, and you must be discreet.

So in the beginning of the story, V has already signed her soul over to the devil. The devil's name is Lucy - and she is a beautiful woman who is coveted by many, and writes a weekly column that gives the dish on the who is who and what is what in Manhattan. So V is pretty content at first with her new powers and beauty and fame, but she begins to see that there are many downsides to Lucy's program. Such as, she has to continually try and recruit people into selling their soul. She is not supposed to help anyone or do any good deeds. And when she dares go against the devil's plans, there is definitely hell to pay...

V starts to wonder if she made a mistake in selling her soul. After all, her life just isn't the same without one. Sure, she has wealth, success, power... but what about helping others, falling in love and just plain life contentment? V knows she is in deep, but is there a way out?

I had mixed feelings while reading this book. On one hand, it is very original, bitingly funny and has some hilarious dialogue between the characters. The pace is frantic, and the story is very suspenseful. On the other hand, I had a hard time wrapping my imagination around the plot, which was very far-fetched. I have no problem with fantasy or paranormal novels, but in chick lit - it's got to be somewhat believable. For the most part, this book was.

I have to admit, Kathleen O'Reilly really did a wonderful job of handling such a delicate subject matter (to some). The ending of this novel made up for anything I might have not liked in the story - it was excellent!

Overall, I definitely recommend this book. It pushes the envelope with its daring plot, and will make you laugh out loud more than once.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Wow! Such a great story
By Romance Addict
Man, I loved this book. It was completely unexpected, original and exciting, and every night when I would finally force myself to put it down and turn out the light, I'd lie there thinking about all the spiritual and philosophical questions it raises. Is there anything I'd sell my soul for? I don't know... Zero cellulite sure is tempting. (Ha.) O'Reilly's writing is great -- very sharp, funny, and again, unexpected. She really pulled out all the stops for this book. And the ending was definitely a surprise to me! From beginning to end, I couldn't put it down, and was totally engrossed in the story. O'Reilly did a great job of making something fantastical -- selling your soul in order to be the It Girl of NYC, to the devil who's an attractive and surprisingly sympathetic woman, no less -- become perfectly plausible and engaging. And I can't stress the philosophical/spiritual aspect enough. Sure, it's a Chick Lit novel, but it goes so far beyond any other CL book I've ever read. I mean, the heroine, V, is an anti-heroine, and unlike heroines in so many other CL novels, she doesn't sit around grousing about being fifteen pounds overweight or how she can't bag her boss -- because she sold her soul! She gets to have whatever she wants! Except, of course, her soul back, because she sold it in a contract with no out clause. And therein is the philosophical conundrum of the book. It's great. I can't wait for O'Reilly's next one!

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Fantastic summer reading
By booksforabuck
Designer purse maven "V" has a perfect life--a thriving business, a perfect luxury apartment, clothes, a taut, slender body (with no dieting or exercise), and any man she wants. Sounds pretty good, but for one tiny detail. She sold her soul to the devil to get all those things, joining the "Life Enrichment Program." It's sort of like selling Tupperware, except you end up in hell. V's conscience doesn't bother her at all as she merrily recruits others to sell their souls. But then one day she inadvertently does a good deed, which is definitely against the rules, and the wrath of the devil, "Lucy," is upon her. Lucy is even more perfect than V, and she writes an influential New York gossip column that she uses to reward and punish her minions. (She also punishes with fat thighs and poufy butts.)

On the same day as the good deed, V also meets a man. But he's a good man, and he believes he sees good in V. V spends a lot of time and effort trying to convince the guy she's rotten to the core, but all the while she's starting to regret selling her soul and wishing she could have that decision to make over again.

This is a wonderful book. It has all the chick-lit trappings (woman in search of money, fame, fortune, love and perfect shoes, as well as an annoying mother), but it digs deep into the psyche and forces readers to really think about ethics and morals and values and all those squirmy things. The plot takes some wonderful twists and turns, leading to a totally unexpected, but perfect, ending. The writing is lush and lively, too, so the reader can just float along without effort. Fantastic summer reading.

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